I'm a Short Seller

November 03/15

Short selling is the sale of a security that is not owned by the seller, or that the seller has borrowed. Short selling is motivated by the belief that a security's price will decline, enabling it to be bought back at a lower price to make a profit.

Now I call myself a short seller but for a different commodity and reason.

I short sell myself.

All the time.

And it is wrong, hurtful, and unwarranted.


I sell myself short when it comes to being in a relationship as I never really consider myself worthy of the other person. I've done this since I can remember and though I've gotten better at managing it, I've been guilty of doing it again when dealing with C.

I'm a very intelligent person, have been called uber smart more than once, but I do dumb things.

I constantly see my value as less than the other person and without any legitimate justification.

I see things that don't exist or let something wiggle it's way into the tiniest of cracks in my self confidence until it's strong enough to shatter the walls I work so hard to erect.

I would look at my shape, pear at the best of times, and compare it those of the men she worked with, normally the words ripped and chiseled comes to mind, and find myself questioning what the hell was she doing with me when all this eye candy was around her 24/7.

What I failed to take into account is that while my body might not be in the greatest of shape my other assets are just fine and more than adequate to keep a person entertained. Now if you are imaging something dangly then shame on you and high fives as well lol

No, what I mean is that I'm actually a pretty decent guy who brings a good grasp of things to the party, a well functioning brain, and usually excellent communications skills. Oh, and I possess more useless trivia than most ten people combined and thus make a premier trivial pursuit partner.

I know I do this and hate it, I also don't like it when someone I'm with does it themselves and will call them out for it.  C did it a few times about herself and I reminded her that I loved the whole package and didn't focus on what thing, even though the one thing she obsessed about was also pretty darn good to me, but then I was biased lol

It is only in relationships that I short sell myself. I rock at work with confidence and love the challenge of going up against other good coaches when I coach a soccer game as I never see myself as the lesser coach and think there isn't a game my team can't win, whether this is true or not.

I know I'm a good parent and do my best to be there for my children so in that arena I'm like a rock start...one of the good ones like Bruce Springsteen or Jon Bon Jovi.......not in looks but in attitude :)

I need to work on the whole self image aspect of being in a relationship and remind myself that it's called a relationship because there are two of us involved...two as in me and her...as in she wants to be in one with me.....or did.....and maybe will once more in the future

So while I can't guarantee that my short selling days are over I can say that the frequency it comes up is a lot less than in the past and that is a really, really good thing.