I'm Not Dating!!

December 08/15

I received a message yesterday commiserating with me on my blog entry about my crappy weekend and also congratulating me on being back in the dating game.

When did I get back in the dating game?

I'm only about 1,375% certain I'm nowhere near being close to even thinking about dating let alone actually doing so for real.

I read back over my recent entries and think I found what made this person think I was dating. I mistakenly referred to my drinks and pizza night with my friend S as date night when it couldn't be farther from the truth.  S used to joke about the rare nights we'd meet up to see a movie or have a drink to talk about things going on in our lives as FDN's.......Friend Date Night......as she viewed them as kind of like dates but without any romance whatsoever.  Sort of like hanging out with your favourite cousin of the opposite sex lol

S is a friend to me and nothing more just as I am nothing more than a friend to her. We like to give each other a hard time about our dating failures but we also try and be supportive as we both understand how hard it is to date the older we get, not that it's as hard for her seeing as she's only 40 lol

I'm honestly still dealing with my feelings for C and trying my best to just get through to the end of year, not that the end of year holds any special meaning other than it's a simple point in time to shoot for and when I reach it I'll pick another date in the future and go from there, short term targets are easier to hit than long term.

When you add in the time of year and how it effects me emotionally than you'll understand why this is really the last month of the year I'd ever think of starting to date. I love Christmas but find the month so hard to deal with and even more so when single as it's really geared towards families or couples.

This point last year my biggest concern was what to get C for Christmas as we'd only been dating for about two months, a good amount of time for me given my history but not long enough for me to really know what she liked. On the other hand C did really well last year when it came to me and I ended up feeling so spoiled :)

So I'm not dating and have no intentions on dating any time soon, hell any time at all if I'm being real here as I had the one and let her get away. How does someone recover from that?

No, seriously, how does someone recover from having the one and being a complete ass that drives them away?

Marcus