Time Waits for No Person

December 14/15

I was reminded of that saying a couple of times this past weekend and both came courtesy of my kids.

The first rolled around at 9:30 am Saturday morning when I met my ex and our son at his indoor soccer game and commented on how tired he looked. His mom laughed and said "Try hung over" and that earned her a scowl and me a look of concern from our son.

I asked what she meant and she explained that she had been at her companies Xmas party when he texted her asking if he could have a Vodka Mud Shake from the fridge in her basement before getting dropped off at a birthday party. She said that was ok as long as that was all he had. He got a ride to the party and met his girlfriend there and from the sounds of things it was a bit wilder than he anticipated with way more people than was planned. I said I wasn't thrilled with the thought of him drinking but seeing as how it was his mom's week I wasn't going to say anything about it. She laughed and said that hadn't ever stopped her from voicing an opinion and I just replied that was true.

When my son came over that afternoon with my daughter to decorate the tree we continued the conversation as I think there are times he is nervous to say too much in front of his mom for fear of what she might say or how she'll react.  Now he got a ride to the party and he called his sister to come and get him when it was winding down so I'm happy he didn't walk home or get a ride with anyone else. As it turns out he had another 2 drinks at the party and hence his hung over state. I if his sister was at my ex's when he called and he said no, she was at her BF's in Richmond and drove in to get him.  I told him to call me next time something like this happens as I live closer and it's easier for me to make the drive.  He looked at me and I could silently hear the question......"No, I won't be thrilled but I also respect the fact that you are getting older and not the little boy I like to envision, so call me and let me do my dad thing, without any anger or repercussions for you"

He stood up and just gave me a hug without saying a further word, turning back to put the Angel on the top of the tree.

The second reminder came from a series of text messages exchanged with my daughter about the plans for Christmas Eve and morning. She was nervous as to how to tell me she won't be staying over on Christmas Eve and worried how I'd take it. I smiled as I read her message about coming over for a bit before heading over to her BF's grandmothers place for Christmas Eve dinner, I told her that was fine and I was learning to come to accept that she was an adult with obligations other than with me and her mom. She asked if I was sure as she could change things up and I said it was really ok, she needed to start making some memories of her own and I needed to learn to let go. I think it really is fine with me as I know what it's like trying to balance the expectations of one's parents against the desire to do your own thing, never a fun place to be caught between but the season is about sharing and enjoying, not getting all bent out of shape when things get changed up.

So both of my kids are growing up and becoming their own persons, stretching boundaries and making memories, something every parent dreads as it means they won't need us as much, but also something we should be happy about as it means we've done well in raising them if they are doing it.

I've probably got two more years left with my son being around then I'll lose him to making his own traditions with his friends and girlfriend. I'm not looking forward to that happening but I'm also not going to fight the progress as I want him to be his own man, just like his sister is her own woman.

Time waits for no person, but we can hope to pause it for a moment here and there.

New traditions come up to replace old ones and if we're wise we'll remember the old ones with love in our hearts and embrace the new ones for the freshness they'll bring our lives..........

Marcus