Ahhhhh, the weekend is here

January 08/16

Fire And The Flood by Vance Joy for today's little musical suggestion.


So it's the weekend and I've got little to nothing planned, which is actually sounding a lot better than I first thought as I'm thinking some down time might be just what I need.

Work has been a bit crazy this week with year end and the need to get some prelim numbers posted for review by the executive team coupled with the need to create the massive consolidated revenue worksheet required to prepare transfer pricing across all of our subsidiaries. It's probably the most scrutinised worksheet given that a mistake can lead to a tax audit from multiple agencies around the world, nothing like being reminded of that little gem by the CEO this afternoon as I was heading out the door.

My son transitioned to his mom's place today after school so I like to say I'm in my bachelor mode week but it really doesn't differ all that much from when he's with me as there isn't too much going on other than work, the gym, walking Moki, and watching soccer games involving both my kids.

Last night my son found me online researching golf club memberships for this summer and asked if I was finally going to pull the trigger this year and get one. I laughed and said I didn't talk too much about them and he was exaggerating a bit. He said I'd been talking about it getting one for years and I knew that wasn't true and called him out on it. We agreed that I`d been talking about it back in 2014 but a couple of things made me stop looking. The first was that I didn't think I`d hit the number of rounds needed to make it a good investment given that I play a round weekly with my friend B and we like to rotate our play among a group of courses that includes Glen Mar, Greensmere, Pakenham, and Arnprior.  The second was that I knew last year that I'd be alternating my free weekends between Ottawa and up the valley visiting C and that would cut into my options to play and thus not be drive down my per round cost.  The added benefit to visiting C was that due to her senior position she was able to get greatly reduced green fees at Pembroke, Roanoke, and Petawawa so I never missed a weekend playing golf. Plus I fell in love with these three valley courses and actually rank them in my top 6 of all courses in the Ottawa region.

I told him it looked more like I was going to bite the bullet and join at Glen Mar, least for 2016 as they are offering a special membership for first time members that I can easily make work for me this season. If everything works out I can see myself playing  2-3 times per week. It`s not like I have anything else going on now is it?.  This includes playing nine a couple of mornings a week before I head into work and possibly a round after work, depending on what happens soccer wise with my son and his team.

He said that sounded like a plan and I offered to look into what a family membership costs if he was interested in playing this summer. That one earned me the look that said I must be from another planet and don't understand how to speak English anymore, that and a head shake as he walked out of the home office.

Moki has been looking kind of ratty the past week or so and it dawned on me she was way past due for a visit to the groomer so I booked her in for one at lunch today. My lunch was spent coming home to get her and running her over for Brenda to make her look like a princess once again. I'll upload some before and after pictures so you can judge if it worked, Moki thinks it did as she has her strut back and is once more a little diva!!

I have some homework to do this weekend as I've been to see someone about how I'm not coping all that well with the breakup and after talking for a bit she asked me to write down what made me happy and/or sad about C.  This should be interesting to say the least.  One thing I learned was that the grieving process is harder the more depth you feel for the person and length of relationship doesn't come into play nearly as much as I imagined. This came up as I asked why the pain I feel from a year long relationship ending hurts so much more than when my marriage ended and that relationship was almost thirteen years in the making.

My son knows about my visits as I'm a big believer in talking to someone when you have an issue and want him to know that it's ok to reach out for help when you need it, that you can't always face them alone, nor can you always find a solution but that sometimes just talking can offer some solace and hope for the future.

On the way to school he asked me how the dating profile was going and I had to admit that I've not been paying attention  to it as it just doesn't feel like it's right for me at this moment and I didn't want to mislead anyone who I might come across as that would be a horrible way to act. He didn't say anything more on the drive but I could tell he was processing it and decided to bide my time as I was sure the end result would be worth waiting for when he got there.

Sure enough it was.....as I drove up to the drop off area at his high school he grabbed his bag from the back and left me with these words......"You know it's not that far of a drive up the valley and they are calling for decent weather, you should make the move dad".

As I watched him walk towards the entrance to the school and a group of his friends I silently whispered "If it was only that easy son".

There is a part of me that wants to make that drive but the chance of seeing something that might really hurt is more than enough to make me resist doing so. I think at this point in time any move can't be made by me but has to come from outside showing me the strength to try once more is alive and possible. Will I ever see that happen? I don't really know but I like to think time makes anything possible and maybe my giving a second chance last year will be paid forward this year. It could happen....


My name is Marcus and these are my ongoing attempts at being a good father, friend, finding the perfect 8 iron from 135 yards, dating, and possibly finding (or preferably regaining) the one!!