Did I Close The Door On C?

January 04/16

Just a quick post to clear up where I stand on things as I've received a few messages about my decision to step back into the dating world, most were positive but a couple have been kind of harsh and paint me in a very negative light.

First off, I have closed the door on C but it isn't locked.

What does that even mean you might be asking so let me outline it for you.

I have decided to look at the possibility of dating once again and taken the step of creating a new account at eHarmony to facilitate the whole process. This does not mean I wouldn't be open to seeing C should she reach out to me but I think we can all say that the odds of that happening are about as good as me winning the US Open this year over Speith, Fowler, Johnson, and McIlroy.

Opening up a profile does not mean I'm rushing off meeting women willy nilly. I think anyone who has read the blog knows I don't rush into things and will take my sweet time in agreeing to meet someone.

Am I even ready to date? It has been a couple of months now and I do think it's time I let myself be open to the possibilities but that doesn't mean I'm falling head over heals for the first person I meet, please have a bit more faith in me than that :)

For those offering me encouragement I say thank you. I've blogged about putting yourself out there and being open to meeting the one so I really should follow my own advice right.

For those saying I'm not being fair to C I'll just ask for some good examples of this as she ended things with me and moved on by telling me she has no desire to see me again. I think she was pretty clear and if I somehow misunderstood her words or you have information saying she still wants me than please feel free to share it.

I made a mistake and acted childish. I admit it and apologized to her for it. She didn't feel like what we had was worth a second chance on her part and has moved onto bigger and better things so why am I being punished for doing the same.

How long do you think I should sit around waiting for the call that will never come?

How many times do I need to walk to the front window and look out hoping to see her SUV pull into my driveway before I'm free of this self torture?

Am I over C?  No, and I probably won't ever be over her completely but I will move on and rebuild my life so that I'm happy with myself once again.

So, I've closed the door but she still has a key and knows what she has to do if this isn't really what she wants. In the meantime I'm going to live my life and if something happens it happens and if it doesn't, well I'm ok with that too.

My heart is broken, but that doesn't mean it's stopped working!!!