The First Sunday of 2016 Comes With A Decision

January 03/16

The song for today is "Drive" by Incubus.  I know it's not something new by an indie artist but try and remember this little gem..........not everything new is bad nor everything old good.

So here we are with the first Sunday of 2016 and what an interesting day it turned out to be in the end.

I did the gym this morning before coming home to get my son up and going for his soccer training session only to find him racked with a cough and looking the worse for wear. I sent him back to bed and sent the coach an email apologizing for the late notice but I was going to keep him home as the last thing he needs is to miss any classes with exams coming up in a couple of weeks,

While he fell back asleep I went out and shovelled the snow off the deck and let Moki out to do her thing. While she was busy I did the front walk and stoop to come back and discover a snow monster at the gate as it looked like she'd been rooting in the snow and had a very cute little snow beard going on for her efforts.

Shaved and showered and was off to Bayshore to exchange two of the shirts he got for Christmas for ones in the correct size and was unlucky in trying to find him the jeans he wanted as they were out of stock at Jack Jones, though I was told they were expecting new stock on Monday and Wednesday so it looks like a visit to the mall at lunch on Thursday. From Bayshore I hit the Best Buy at the Kanata Centrum for another exchange and some advice about the poor sound quality from our Pioneer receiver and Boston Acoustic speakers. Once that was all done I headed home to check on him, still sound asleep, and Moki, standing guard over the boy :)

I took a moment to lay down on the couch for a moment and read some on my iPad before heading out to watch my daughters soccer team play at 2pm.

Before I left I made sure the son was up as he had some English to work that is due on Monday and he wasn't appreciative of being reminded that his winter break is over - is that one form of a parents compensation? lol

My ex was at the game and smiled at me with a sort of funny look that had me wondering what I'd done or was going to be asked to do........you know that feeling right?

I sort of stood off to the side as I was really not in the mood for talking but that just wasn't in the cards today as about 10 minutes into the game she called my name and pointed to the empty bench for me to come and sit down. Thinking it best to get it over with I went and sat down but she didn't really say anything out of the ordinary, least not till halftime when she commented about how bad our daughters team was playing and how her coach couldn't find water if he was sitting in a boat in the middle of a lake. That made me laugh and in his defense I said I had to agree that this team was struggling but reminded her that our daughters Sunday team was her summer team and a lot of the players don't play winter soccer as they are off at university. I could see from the corner of my eye that she turned and was staring at me and heard her mutter to herself "who the hell are you and what have you done with the uber competitive soccer coach I know?"

That made me laugh and I told her I was just enjoying myself as a soccer parent and not having to deal with placing players in the right positions, calling set plays off corner kicks, or thinking about changing formations mid game. She stared at me as she replied "Good to see you've not been giving this any thoughts" and then smiled, a real genuine smile. She told me that our daughter had been commenting that she couldn't wait for this season to be over so the next one would get here quicker and she'd get her good coach back. I didn't say anything but could feel the conflict inside me as I'm not sure I want to coach again, not because I don't love it but really for that very reason, I let it consume me and lose sight of the beauty that is watching my daughter play the game she loves so much.

My ex leaned over and told me that our daughter wanted to talk to me after the game so I shouldn't plan on jetting at the final whistle. I looked over and told her I wasn't sure about coaching any time soon and she just shook her head and said that wasn't what she wanted to talk to me about.

I figured there was going to be some request to borrow money so she could get something for her house or maybe to store even more stuff at my place until she moves to her place in May.

The game ended in a 2-1 loss and it really wasn't as close as the score would lead you to believe. There were several things I would have done that might have resulted in a different score but I think not always winning is good as it allows my kids to develop a little humility.

My daughter walked across the pitch and her mother walked away to give us some space. I said I heard she wanted to talk to me and she looked briefly looked at her mom for encouragement and she was told "You said it was important to tell him so go ahead, I'll meet you in the car" and her mom walked out of the dome.

I just looked at my daughter with a raised eyebrow and she smiled at me as I knew that would relax her a little. I smiled and told her just to ask me what she wanted to ask me and we'd go from there. hearing that made her give me a triumphant look and she told me she didn't want anything from me, well not really from me but for me. I asked what she meant and she sort of hesitated and told me that I know she loves me right? I said of course I do and even if you didn't your mother would make you and we both laughed.

Than she did something that completely caught me off guard. She put her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes and said "It's time dad, no more being sad"

I told her I'm not sat and she bluntly told me "Bullshit, you've been pining for C and it's time you face reality, she's moved on and you need to do the same, get out there and start dating, dammit"

My kids aren't usually so direct when dealing with me but for some reason lately they've been taking a different path, maybe it's maturity showing up in them, maybe a sense of frustration seeing me as I am the past couple of months, maybe just that they love me and want me to be happy again. More likely it's a combination of all these things.

I looked away and said it wasn't that easy and again she told me to stop bullshitting her. "talk to people, there are a lot of women who would be lucky to have you, and if C can't see past your mistake and give you another chance like you gave her this summer than don't you dare let it hold you back anymore"

I didn't say anything but knew in my heart that she was right, I'd been pining away waiting for something to happen that I knew deep inside was never going to happen and it was time to start acting like myself again.

She took my arm and we walked out of the dome and as we got near her mom's SUV she made me promise to open up and let myself date again. She said it didn't mean I was closing the door I wanted to be open but rather giving myself options, something she reminded me I'd told her and her brother to do countless times before, of course my entreaties were about getting a good education but it didn't seem like the time to mention that little detail. I promised her I would and gave her a hug goodbye and said we'd talk this week, waved to my ex, and walked to my car.

As I started it up and got the heater going I pulled my iPhone out to text my son to let him know I was heading home and found a text from my ex that she must have sent when I was talking to my daughter that said "You know she is right and both the kids are worried about you, you are too good a man to be alone all the time"

When I got home I let my son know I was going to get dinner going around 5pm and he said that sounded great as it would give me time to set up a new eHarmony account!

I stopped in my tracks at hearing that and he walked down the hall into the kitchen to hug me and said he knew about my talk with his sister. I said to him "so it's gang up on dad day is it" and he smiled and said "if it works than hell yes"

So before starting dinner, butterfly pork chops with some seasonings cooked in a bit of beer, matched with roasted potatoes and yellow beans, I created a new account and signed up for six months.

Why pay Harmony when I could do POF for free you ask?  eHarmony brought me C and I'm hoping lightening can strike twice :)

So it looks like I'm back in the dating game, though I don't treat it like a game. I have to admit I feel guilty setting it up, almost like I'm cheating on someone, but I was the one dumped so I guess that is kind of a stupid way too feel isn't it?


My name is Marcus and these are my continuing adventures at being a father, friend, golfer striving to hit the perfect 8 iron from 135 yards, and maybe, just maybe, an imperfectly perfect boyfriend.......