Some Late Q&A....

Sunday, January 31/16


So I received a couple of late questions to the whole Q&A thing I ran back at the end of November and thought I'd respond to them as they made me have to stop and really consider things when formulating my answer.

Two were pretty thoughtful, one almost challenging, and the last kind of borderline intrusive in a way.


Q: Is the one for you the same as that other people refer to as a soul mate?

A: I don't really know. I think they mean the same as long as we realize that we can have different ones at different points in our lives. The person you consider your soul mate in high school is more than likely to change once you are in university or college, that person from your university days may evolve into someone else as well as you mature and realize you're needs change over time and that particular person can no longer satisfy you, not purely in a physical sense but I think more along the lines of intellectually and emotionally. I had a high school girlfriend who I thought was everything to me and by the time I was finishing my first year at university I had come to the conclusion that we were really meant to be nothing more than friends. I found that very hard to process as I'd been head over heals for this woman and now here I was thinking we were clearly not equals and it was time we moved on from one another. I think with soul mates that bond is deeper and even as one partner may evolve past the other in certain areas they are countered by growth in another by the partner to keep an over all sense of balance between the two of you. So in a sense I think my one is the same as my soul mate but I don't think we are limited to just one in our lives, it's damn cool if we only do have one but not the end of the world if we don't.


Q: What makes a woman the one in your eyes?

A: I've had two different women become the one for me over the course of my life and I can say both did so for different reasons but sort of the same reason in a way. I know that doesn't make sense and yet it will once I continue with my answer. When I met my ex it was through a work project that required me to get some assistance from our Ottawa office while I was based in Los Angeles. As you can expect my ex was my contact person and one thing led to another and we started to like one another. Our initial communications were limited to emails and some phone calls, we didn't even have a clue what the other looked like for the first 2 months until we exchanged pictures via inter company mail, remember this was the mid 90's and the Internet was alive and well but not what we have today. I think that initial period of no direct contact helped us to know one another in a way that was completely foreign to anything we'd gone through before. It made things feel stronger if you will between us. With C it was similar but not in that we exchanged some emails in the first phase, moved onto telephone calls, and met for lunch after about 2-3 weeks. Even after we met we weren't physical with one another for almost another month and I think that made us feel stronger for the other as we both realized we weren't just in it for some physical gratification but more for the real connection between two hearts.

I got to know each before there was any physical contact, the real woman behind the voice, and that took away so much pressure. There is something to be said for a simple conversation that lasts several hours and yet feels like it just started five minutes ago. I'm not a big phone guy and yet found it very easy to just talk to them without any doubts creeping into my thought process.  With my ex it was her personality to hooked me and it was only later I learned I was playing out of my league looks wise with her. With C it was this one picture on her profile that just reached out and made me contact her, her eyes were mesmerizing and combined with her smile made me melt, putty in her hands should she ever decide to make me so. It was only after talking with her did I realize how intelligent she was, how well she carried herself in a field dominated by men, and how level headed she was in life.

To be the one requires far more than looks. A brain that offers up interesting view points goes a very long way with me, I like to say that you better be able to stimulate my mind more than my body as my mind is always on whereas the other part has some time constraints lol


Q: Don't you worry that C will read your entries and respond to them in some way? You open yourself up to being taken advantage of should she choose to do so.

A: No, I don't worry about it as nothing I've written about my time with C is negative in any way, shape, or form. Quite the contrary as I've made numerous comments about much better off I am today from my time with her.   I've been careful to respect her privacy and done my best to let her keep her anonymity through the use of her initial only. Additionally, I've done my best to be as vague as possible about her career and success even though I'd like nothing more than to stand on the steps of Parliament and let the world know how amazing she is at her chosen vocation. Her organization has a saying that I think is uber cool but to use it here would be to expose her and I'll never do that, just knowing it makes me smile and hopefully should she ever come back and read the blog again she'll smile when she comes across this posting.

I know at one point she did follow the blog but my instinct tells me she stopped following it back in November but that doesn't lessen the impact she had on me nor predicate that I have to ignore that positive impact as if it never happened. We as a person are the sum influences of those who come into our lives, whether that is positive or negative. I've been lucky and can't really count many who were negative and I'm so thankful for that as I'd hate to see how I could have turned out had I allowed those people into my life.

Depending on how she wants to take advantage of me I'd say anything is possible ;-)


Q: How important is landscaping to you?

A: I didn't understand this question the first time I read it and had to ask for some clarification from the follower. Not sure about her but I was blushing when I got her response lol

Landscaping, as it turns out, refers to the care of our nether regions ;-)

When I was in my twenties this sort of question never came up and now it comes up whenever two people start to date and reach that stage where intimacy is on the menu. Hell, I'd never even heard of a Brazilian until I'd been separated a few years and still had to Google it to understand what the hell I was being told.

I'll be honest and say I like things in the middle, say a nice little vee or landing strip. I just don't understand the fascination with completely shaving and find it can be a turn off as it just takes something somewhere it shouldn't. Let's just say I like to be reminded that you are a woman and leave it at that ok.

As for myself, I do man-scape as I think my partner deserves things neat and tidy. Have I ever shaved completely? Yes, right before I met my ex I was involved in a relationship with S that was completely sexual in nature and she asked me to try it so I did. If you are curious think male porn star, as in presentation and not size, unfortunately for me :-()  It started to chafe and itch like crazy a few days later that I've never done it that way again.


So there you go...all caught up now on those outstanding questions. Hope you enjoyed and have a good Sunday evening.

Marcus