Saturday Soccer

Saturday, January 30/16

Creed - With Arms Wide Open


I went to watch my son's soccer game today and on the way there today's musical recommendation came on the radio and reminded me how fortunate I am to be a father.

It's funny how we get tested on such a wide variety of topics as we pass through the various stages of our lives but the one thing that we can do that is so critical requires nothing more than our bodies.

I'll admit that becoming a ready made father to my ex's daughter when I moved to Ottawa scared the crap out of me as I had no clue what to do, pretty much the exact words I used when I talked about it with her mother and she just smiled and said it would all come to me in time. She was right in that it did and I reached that point where I could not remember what my life was like before those two women came into it.

Years later my son came along and all those worries came roaring back as this time I was going to be there right from the start and I had no clue how to change a diaper, prepare a bottle, comfort a baby when they weren't feeling well. I vividly remember the first time my ex left me alone with our son just a few weeks after his birth as she needed to have some mother-daughter time with our daughter, how I was literally shaking and thought I was going to be sick to my stomach, she knew I was petrified and reminded me that it was going to be fine, just love him and you're heart will tell you what you need to do to make him happy. That was probably one of the best days of my life as I had the opportunity to bond with my son. I learned years later that the decision to go out with our daughter was really my ex's way of giving me alone time with my son in order to show me I was more than capable of taking care of him.  Sometimes the greatest gifts are the ones we receive and never know what we've been given.

My son's team lost today 3-0 but he played his heart out and had fun, which is the goal with winter soccer. As I sat on the bench next to my ex I looked at him running past and I thought to myself how much my children have enriched my life and turned to see my ex smiling at me, I asked what was up and she replied she bet she could tell what I was thinking, I laughed and said as if, her partner T leaned around her and just shook his head at me, so I said go ahead and tell me what I was thinking.....

We both looked up as our son took his spot in the wall and managed to block a hard shot on net and than she softly said "You were thinking how lucky you feel to be a dad"

Now I'm pretty sure my ex can't read minds or even knows about this blog so to say I was stunned would be putting it mildly. She looked over at me and laughed as she said "if you could see your face right now you'd piss your pants laughing" Once again T leaned around her and sort of chuckled as he said "She's got you there" and than leaned back. You've got to love a person of few words who makes the one he uses count for something.

I just stared at her and she took some pity on me and said "You've got a horrible tell when it comes to those times you're thinking about the kids and always have. You just get this look about you when they are on your mind and I've seen it so many times I can tell just by looking at you when you're doing it".

I smiled back and said guilty as charged and told her about the song coming on the radio as I was driving to the game and she looked out on the field and said "That one is one of your favourites isn't it".............

The game ended and we stood up to wait for the boy to change out of his soccer kit and head our way so they could head home and I could stop and get groceries. As we walked out of the dome my son asked me what I was talking to his mom about and she turned around smiling at us and said maybe he should spend more time focused on the game and less time watching his parents on the sidelines.

I hugged him close and told him his mom would explain later but that it was all good and nothing to worry about.

Fifteen minutes later as I was checking off items from my list of things I needed while walking down the aisles of Loblaw's my phone chimed that I had a new text message so I looked at it to see a message from my son that simply said "Love you too dad"

It never ceases to amaze me how something I see or hear can send me off on a tangent, sometimes for the good and sometimes the not so good. Today was a good one as I've been through so much with my kids and never does a day pass where I don't thank the stars above for letting me experience fatherhood.......the one unpaid job I've been the happiest to pursue without one single regret ever!!!


My name is Marcus and this blog attempts to chronicle my efforts to be a good father, friend, possibly master the perfect 8 iron from 135+ yards out from the green, and just maybe the moment when my heart is stolen in the best possible way.


A side note on Creed. There are several songs by Creed that touch me deep inside and I think that comes from the fact that they address themes of Christian theology and spirituality without going overboard. I find songs that make me think to rank among my favourites.