Life

Thursday, January 28/16

So here I am three months removed from my relationship with the one and I think it might be time to take stock of my life and maybe, just maybe, make a decision on where I want to end up before the decision gets made for me.

I found myself feeling a bit upbeat today and found that kind of amazing given all the pain I've felt these last few months and combined with finding out my company is getting bought out and all that entails for those of us working in the finance group think I should be down and not up, yet I don't feel down at all.

It sucks that my position is going to be eliminated but I've been given a pretty damn decent package and will be around helping with the integration for six months from the date of close so all things considered it's not the end of the world. The deal close is tentatively set for March 31st so I'm good through the end of September and have been playing it safe with money since the last time it happened but I'm also not as worried as I was last time as I know things happen and if the past is any indicator I won't be out for very long.

It would have been nice to have someone to talk too about it like last time but I'm not feeling alone in the least. That one kind of made me pause as I've felt so alone since October and yet when something pretty drastic happens I find myself at peace and calm. Interesting how that happens isn't it?

I still miss the one but my life is moving forward and each day gets a little easier, offering me some hope that life goes on, whether we want it to or not, so the best thing we can do is hop on the merry go-round and reach for the brass ring when it comes around, what do we have to lose by trying?

Golf is not as far away as I think and I've been giving some serious thought to getting a membership this summer and still think I might as it is a great way for me to release stress. I'd rather be alternating my golf between local courses and the big three up in the valley but we know those aren't on the rotation any more and while I'll miss them I won't curl up in the fetal position over the loss.

I guess the same goes for my view on C deciding to end us.

Her actions hurt me and left me reeling trying to find some answers. They never came and rather than keep taking the emotional punches thrown my way I've decided to start ducking and weaving to avoid the hits and maybe go on the offence myself.

I'm a decent guy, make my share of mistakes, try to learn from them, and think I have a lot to offer the right person. I'm not perfect but just maybe I'm imperfectly perfect enough for one person, and she for me. Time will tell but at least it's something I'm interested in seeing happen.

I was gone for a bit there folks but I'm back and ready to roll!!!!

I have a nice place, super puppy in Moki, couple of great kids, a job for the next eight months, but most of all I have a large heart and want to share it with the one.

Couple of key dates coming up that might make me sad but sad is good as it reminds me I'm capable of caring enough about someone else to miss them when they are gone, as I hope they miss me sometimes.

One thing I've learned over the last few years is that doors might close but that doesn't mean if you take a chance to turn the handle they stay closed.......take a chance and see if you can push it open, you never know what's possible unless you try.......are you strong enough to try? I think you are :)


My name is Marcus and these are the ongoing adventures of being a father, friend, golfer, and possibly a boyfriend.......it will happen