Wednesday, March 20, 2013

2011-06-09 Kids & Dating


Today's musical recommendation - "Sweet About Me" by Gabriella Cilmi

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I'm guessing that many of you are in the same boat I am.....single with kids either full or part time. I fall into the later category as my ex and I have a wonderful relationship where our kids are concerned and worked out a great shared custody agreement with alternate week custody.

Now I've been dating on and off for the last 3+ years, on when the mood strikes and off when I find the game playing to be a tad bit too much, and have only reached the stage of introducing my son to one lady so far. It isn't that any of them weren't good enough to meet him but rather I'm never sure when it is the right time to make that move. There is a lot at stake....the hope is he likes the lady in question and that she likes him too. Guess it would be sort of a deal breaker for her if she didn't like him right?

My kids know I date and the one thing they both want is for me to find someone who will make me smile and laugh as they both say that is missing from my life......my daughter is 22 and actually gives me recomendations on places to take dates and reminds me that compliments go a long way. My 12 y/o son reminds me to open doors and always thank the people around me when the do something....says the things I've taught him still apply to me as well....think my ex and I did something good with how they've turned out :)

I've met some women who think it perfectly natural to meet kids after the first date but for me that is way too soon and I've tended to politely end that potential relationship quite early in the process. I've met one woman who made it clear it would be a minimum of a year before we were to meet each others children and that seemed too far on the other end of the space/time continuum. So the question remains what is the best time frame for introducing your new friend to your kids?

In my case I've tended to think around the 3 month mark as by that point you should really know if there is something there or not. I've reached this point 2 times so far and my son met one lady out of the two. Now it went really well and they hit it off much better than I thought they might but than it is hard to imagine anyone not liking my son as he is pretty darn cute, sweet, compassionate, and loves to see people happy.

Unfortunately things with this lady didn't work it for reasons having nothing to do with children. Of course his first question to me was it because of him and I had to tell him it was 100% not because of him and one of her comments to me when we decided to mutually end things was that she knew she was going to miss out on getting to know a great kid!

So what is your take on this topic?

When do you usually make that move and what have your results been?

This might sound kind of weird but I think this question is actually more critical than when you make the decision to actually sleep with someone......but that is a topic for another post

As always your feedback is greatly appreciated :)

Mischevous Me

 

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