2011-07-13 Love or Lust

Today's musical recommendation - "Jet Lag" by Simple Plan featuring Natasha Bedingfield

Yes, my musical tastes are all over the place and hopefully the one I eventually meet and enter into a relationship with appreciates that open mindedness about moi :)

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Have you ever met someone or even seen someone from across a room for the first time and had an instant attraction to that person?

I guess some people call it love at first sight and that is a pretty good description.

Would this be love or lust?

Does it matter......both releases certain chemicals into your system that make you more receptive to emotions that could allow something to develop.

If it is love it can lead to some lustful times if things work out well enough. What if you are already in a fulfilling relationship and this happens to you......does that make it lust? I tend to think so. I tend to think there are people with whom there is a reaction for no particular reason and being in a relationship doesn't make it go away. The question is what do you do about it?

Now I have a friend who enjoys the visual stimulation that summer brings all of us.....we've shed our bulky warm weather gear and go about in shorts and summer dresses....hopefully the guys are the ones in shorts and the woman are in the summer dresses but I'm not here to judge..........and this friend is in a relationship and is quite happy.....but he also enjoys looking at the sights of summer if you get my drift......his partner doesn't seem to mind and once made the comment that she doesn't care where he gets his appetite as long as dines at home!

To me there is something wrong with that attitude as how does she know when they are making love he isn't imagining some other woman at that critical moment.....of course it can be said that maybe she is thinking of the UPS guy in his brown work shorts - I've heard stories that this is one popular fantasy for women in the United States - so maybe that is why it doesn't bother her....

For me that would be an issue.....knowing my partner was out checking out the goods so to speak or didn't mind if I was doing so on my own time.......doesn't that disrespect the relationship?

Now I know there are some who will say a strong relationship means something like this shouldn't matter but is it really all that strong if the thought or sight of another person can cause your body to react in such a manner?

I'll make a confession here and now that might cost me my membership card in the Guys Club but I don't see the point of going to a strip club or looking at online porn regardless of your relationship status. I've lost friends over this as they think me a prude but I'm far from it......I'm the guy who thinks what two consenting adults do is strictly between them but I've never been able to understand what pleasure is derived from watching a total stranger take her clothes off and prance around a stage.....it feels more demeaning than anything and one comment my ex made about me was that she knew I'd never hurt her that way like her brother-in-law hurt her sister.......I went to one when in University with some friends and was more uncomfortable than aroused......and shouldn't you feel comfortable when looking upon a partner?? I think so and that is why I don't partake and hope like hell my discussions with my own son lead him to the same conclusions......

So....have you ever seen someone and had that instant kick in the stomach known as butterflies or even had that special reaction in your nether regions that set you on fire inside??????

Is it ok to look but not touch?????

As always comments and opinions are welcome but I'll keep following the path less travelled in my own journey :)